Well with my Soul

I grew up reading Revelations and red book hymnals in church. The choir marched in and wore embroidered robes. Deacons started service with devotion. The church program was a four page newspaper. Tithes and Offerings was a wooden plaque that was updated weekly. Church fans had MLK picture and local funeral home information on the back. Sunday school attendance was a thing. I knew I was gonna be in church at least three times a week between services, rehearsals and midweek bible study. I might have resented it at the time, but I’m better for it. I knew the Sunday morning nudges were coming after a late night Saturday. I knew gospel would start my Saturday morning, if I spent the night by my grandparents house. I understand that pace a bit more day by day. I get why the mother’s wailed at the altar. It’s because of all those collective moments that I can say that despite 2020, it is well with my soul.

Worrier

So, genetics may play a role in how you handle stress. Don’t believe me? Google worrier gene. Or just click this link. It’s really a thing. Now, don’t get me wrong. We are predisposed to a lot of things that don’t have to necessarily manifest in our lives. How do you handle stress? Are you more prone to fight or flight? I've had my moments, but I don't let myself have too many doubts. My faith makes me have a knee jerk reaction to doubt. If I wallow too long, my inner voice is quick to say, “Now, Khia…” Scriptures come to mind. Affirmations come out of my mouth. All the word I’ve buried in heart keeps me from being a worrier. What's in your heart? Are you a warrior or a worrier?

Warrior

I try to avoid conflict as much as possible. I’m definitely more of a lover than a fighter. However, I’ve inherited the mantle of my mother. I can pray. I can fast. I can discern. I see things a bit differently. I guess that makes me a warrior. I know that my fight is not physical, but spiritual. I know what’s at stake. I know what armor is required. I’ve been conditioned, trained and battle tested. There aren't many prayers that I’ve prayed that haven't been answered. So, just know that if you come for mine…you better be prayed up.

Reign

Reign is both a noun and a verb. It can refer to a period of time or the actual function that occurs during a certain period of time. We are supposed to reign in our lives. We are supposed to have lordship and function in that matter, but we don’t always behave in this way. We let fear reign. We let doubt reign. We let finances reign. We let every negative thing reign. If you find yourself in the midst of a storm, let God reign. Let peace reign. Let faith reign. Let joy reign.

Reprieve

Reprieve- v. to give relief or deliverance to for a time

During the sabbath year or seventh year in Jewish agricultural culture, the land is left to rest. It's called shmita. During  shmita, the land is left to lie fallow and all agricultural activity, including plowing, planting, pruning and harvesting, is forbidden by halakha (Jewish law). I'm reminded of the Ecclesiastical text where God reminds us that there are season for everything. Most of us look forward to the seasons that are most beneficial or comfortable for us. However, it is through difficult seasons that we learn and grow the most. We probably won't admit it now, but 2020 has been a season that has required us to take pause and re-evaluate, re-prioritize, and redirect our focus and our lives. Issues have been raised. Challenges have come. Things have been revealed. We have had to deal. We've had to struggle. We've been uncomfortable. Our faith has been tested, but trouble don't last always. We will get a reprieve. Stay the course.

Respite Care

I slept late today. For those of you who know my current season, that’s big. Makayla took a pre-morning nap and my mom didn’t knock on the door. I’ve learned in this caregiving journey to take moments when you can. If your loved one sleeps late, you sleep late. If they go to bed early, let them sleep. If it’s a chill day, keep it chill. Respite care come in many forms. It’s not always separation. Sometimes, its just a moment. It’s a song. It’s a smile. It’s a dance. It’s a deep breath. It’s a long bath or a shower. When you have to be “on" 95% of the time, enjoy the moments you don’t.

Fallen

We all honor our dead in different ways. We memorialize them. We pay tributes. We reminisce. We laugh. We joke. We cry. We all grieve differently. We all process differently, and that’s ok. We all choose how to honor our fallen. Loss is a community feeling. Our lives are interconnected. So, today as America remembers the victims of 9/11, pray for our country, pray for our communities, pray for our neighbors. Honor the fallen.